Wedding is eight weeks from tomorrow, and last night was probably my first big stressed-out moment.
It didn't last long-I just needed to take a few hours break from all the planning and tasks to just relax with Jer and enjoy his company. I think wedding-planning Sabbaths are probably a very good idea, as it can be waaayyy too easy to let the planning consume every waking moment.
But last night I was sitting there looking at the huge pile of invitations, glad that the corrected ones finally arrived but realizing that 1) I was a week behind on the addressing/mailing and 2) our guest list has somehow swelled to 405 people in the past two weeks.
405 people! At the beginning of the process, I thought that we would be inviting around 250, with maybe 150 showing up. But between out of town relatives and long lost business associates and very important people we forgot to put on the list, the google doc has grown to gargantuan proportions. And so now I have that doc following me around town whispering in my ear: "you won't have enough chairs! You won't have enough money for food! People will be disappointed in you!"
The last one, is, of course, a familiar sound. Disappointing people is a huge lifelong fear that I battle constantly, something that requires a lot of diligent prayer. And of course, while your wedding is all about you and your future spouse, it is also a huge opportunity for the worry of 'what people will think' to come knocking on your door. I mean, even the way you address the invitations is subject for debate-do you say Mr. and Mrs. John Doe or Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe? Do you go formal or informal on the inner envelope? Will cousin so-and-so be offended if you refer to him by his full name instead of his nickname? Or will he be offended by writing it the other way around?
I know these are petty fears, but it is so very easy to let them build up and send you spiraling down into the depths of despair. And so you need to regularly pull yourself out of the wedding mania and take a good look at reality and remind yourself that ultimately, cousin so-and-so will just recycle the envelope, Jane Doe will get over it, and if your coworker only gets three hors d'oeuvres instead of four he will still survive. In the end, this day is going to be focused on you and your covenant with each other and God, not the show you put on. Just have to keep that perspective.
And remember to breathe.
PS: We started a wedding website! There are still a lot of missing pieces to it, but you can check it out here. I am personally very proud of my bridesmaid descriptions. :-)