Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Attempting to interpret the motivations behinds a guy's actions is futile. While most (but not all) women tend to overanalyze every word and facial tic, most (but not all) men seem to communicate with reckless abandon. If they feel like flirting, they flirt. If they have a question, they ask it. They don't stop to think what a girl might intuit from them asking, "So, if a guy liked you, would you want him to ask you on a date or just ask to 'hang out'?"

Perhaps this is not their fault. Perhaps we would all be better off if we were guileless and uncalculating in our speech. Certainly it is better to say what you mean and then let your actions match your words. No one would ever read into anything you said, and you would never have to guess what someone meant. We would all just be honest, and when we wanted to say something, we would say it without fear of being misunderstood.

However, life does not work that way. Not only do you have to say what you mean, but you have to worry about whether the listener will hear what you mean. And interpretation in verbal communication, somewhat like literary analysis, is affected by the reader or listener's bias. The information possessed by the listener forms a framework by which they evaluate the statements made. If I know X, and friend says Y, I interpret it to mean X+Y=Z.

But what if X is incorrect? Or X is correct, but when friend says Y, he also knows W, which I am not aware of. And so, really, X+Y does equal Z, but X has to be multiplied by W, which makes Q, and Q+Y does not equal Z, but instead equals F.


Me too.

Guys complain that girls are confusing. I think guys take the cake. But that might be because I am a girl.

1 comment:

Autosmiler said...

A-men, Sista! As a nationally certified communication specialist, let me openly proclaim that this is a true and accurate representation of the human condition caused by the testosterone imbalance and inherent autistic tendencies men have toward women.