25 cents worth of experience

Well, today is my 25th birthday. I have to say, first of all, that where I am and who I am at this particular part of my life isn't at all what I expected. That being said, I have to say that where I am and who I am is better than I could have imagined.

Now, don't think I am tooting my own horn. (You know, I don't think I have ever actually typed "tooting" before.) The only reason I like where I am is because God has brought me here. And I only like who I am because I have begun, ever so slightly, to look at myself through God's eyes. If it weren't for Him, I suppose I'd be rather unhappy.

If you had asked me ten years ago what I thought my life would look like at 25, I could have told you easily: married, maybe 2 kids, teaching part time, living in a little house in Kent, the quaint suburban mom lifestyle. I would be going to the same church I grew up in, leading the preschoolers in worship every Sunday, ready to live out my life exactly the same way forever.

If you know me at all, that is not who I am. I am single, with a career in banking (of all things), active in a semi-emergent, slightly-liberal church up in Seattle (where the entire rest of my family does not go), partying until midnight at least once a week. Not what I had envisioned.

But I love it.

There is a quote I love from St. Augustine's Confessions, that I always remember when things end up differently than I had imagined: "You did not give her what she was then asking, so You could give her what she was always asking." God knows the desires of our hearts better than we do, and sometimes He gives us exactly what we need, even when we didn't know we needed it. Having this life of the single young professional has been good for me, and the opportunities I have had to serve at Quest, in my job, and at home with my family have been invaluable. I don't think I have ever had this many friends (as evidenced by the crowd that showed up at my birthday party) but not only do I have the quantity, I have the quality. These aren't just acquaintances, these are truly meaningful friendships that have added so much life to my life.

Maybe in another ten years I will have the life of wife, mother, volunteer. Maybe not. Maybe God has more for me to learn, to experience, before I start that part of my journey. I've learned to be open to what He gives me. To enjoy every day for what it is, and leave what could be to God. It's a lot of fun.

Some evidence of the fun at the party: