25 cents worth of experience

Well, today is my 25th birthday. I have to say, first of all, that where I am and who I am at this particular part of my life isn't at all what I expected. That being said, I have to say that where I am and who I am is better than I could have imagined.

Now, don't think I am tooting my own horn. (You know, I don't think I have ever actually typed "tooting" before.) The only reason I like where I am is because God has brought me here. And I only like who I am because I have begun, ever so slightly, to look at myself through God's eyes. If it weren't for Him, I suppose I'd be rather unhappy.

If you had asked me ten years ago what I thought my life would look like at 25, I could have told you easily: married, maybe 2 kids, teaching part time, living in a little house in Kent, the quaint suburban mom lifestyle. I would be going to the same church I grew up in, leading the preschoolers in worship every Sunday, ready to live out my life exactly the same way forever.

If you know me at all, that is not who I am. I am single, with a career in banking (of all things), active in a semi-emergent, slightly-liberal church up in Seattle (where the entire rest of my family does not go), partying until midnight at least once a week. Not what I had envisioned.

But I love it.

There is a quote I love from St. Augustine's Confessions, that I always remember when things end up differently than I had imagined: "You did not give her what she was then asking, so You could give her what she was always asking." God knows the desires of our hearts better than we do, and sometimes He gives us exactly what we need, even when we didn't know we needed it. Having this life of the single young professional has been good for me, and the opportunities I have had to serve at Quest, in my job, and at home with my family have been invaluable. I don't think I have ever had this many friends (as evidenced by the crowd that showed up at my birthday party) but not only do I have the quantity, I have the quality. These aren't just acquaintances, these are truly meaningful friendships that have added so much life to my life.

Maybe in another ten years I will have the life of wife, mother, volunteer. Maybe not. Maybe God has more for me to learn, to experience, before I start that part of my journey. I've learned to be open to what He gives me. To enjoy every day for what it is, and leave what could be to God. It's a lot of fun.

Some evidence of the fun at the party:

Sometimes, you have to stay home from church


Today was a good day. Usually Mondays are pretty crazy, especially working in a bank. And since I rarely have quiet weekends these days, I start Monday morning already exhausted. Today I didn't have to be at work until 10am, and I didn't have to show up at my branch. I've been asked to be part of a new leadership team at work, so I had a meeting at my district manager's office. I am really excited about the opportunity--what I will learn, what I will be able to teach, and where this will take me in my banking career at the Large Unnamed Banking Institution.

After the meeting I was given the opportunity to do a presentation at New Employee Orientation for my region. This was a surprising honor, since usually they only ask district managers and experienced branch managers to talk to the fresh blood. I think I am the first Customer Service Manager to ever do this presentation. And since it only takes a couple of hours, I got off before 3pm and headed home in the sunshine. Nice.

So, a short day full of good things. Lately a lot of good things have been happening at work, even though it has been insanely busy. Life in general has been insanely busy. I've been going, going, going, all day, every day. I figured out that I haven't had a free day in two months, basically since I got back from vacation.

This is why last Sunday I stayed home from church. Now, this is very unlike me. I don't think I've missed church since I chose to stay at Quest. But for one day I just needed to sit, at home in my pajamas, with nothing to do but play on the computer, watch TV, tickle my brothers, and chat with my parents. And unfortunately, that particular Sunday was the only foreseeable day in the near future not already booked.

The things I am doing are good things. Church functions, C group parties, family get-togethers, work opportunities. I'd hate to have to give any of it up. At the moment, I don't think I have to, as long as I make some space for a bit of rest and quiet time. It's just that sometimes I get going and it's weeks or months before I realize that I haven't stopped to breathe for days. I suppose I am learning to be more self-aware, to overcome my natural workaholic tendencies while still embracing who I am.

I wasn't at church this weekend either, but for a different reason: I was having services on a beach at Deception Pass with a C group from Quest. While not an official sermon, our Scripture reading and time of worship and meditation were great. It was a fun weekend, and while I am a little tired and sunburnt, I don't regret jumping right back into a busy schedule. It was definitely worth it.

So much good stuff is going on, including my 25th birthday in less than two weeks. So I don't think my calendar will open up too much the next few months, but I am going to try to make some space in it for rest, so I don't have to keep skipping church. ;)