I have such writer's block right now. I have a post dated Oct 28th that I still haven't published because I can't seem to get my thoughts in order, can't seem to get the flow right. Sigh...it's all this studying for these darn securities exams. Sucking the intellectual life right out of me...
I actually find myself reading the money and business sections of newspapers now. What is that about? I was never a big newspaper reader, even having worked in newspaper circulation for seven years. Front page, comics, maybe the movie reviews or something like that. Analyzing market trends and financial reports has never been my thing. I suppose I should care what's happening in the world, but I find I can never trust journalists. Nothing is without a slant, a worldview, a slightly skewed perspective.
Skewed perspectives...I have enough problems with those. Lately I've been trying to learn not to attempt interpretation of the words and actions of others. I invariably find myself horribly wrong and terribly disappointed. I may wear my emotions on my shirt sleeves a lot, but other people can be so unreadable, so easy to misunderstand. A look, a word, a touch...no, that didn't mean a thing. Not a thing.
My mother always says that no matter your intentions, you have to think about how other people will interpret your actions. You can't simply act without thinking about the effect that you will have on the people you interact with. It is important to guard your own heart, but also to guard the hearts of others. I think my mom is right. We could all learn to be more considerate of others' reactions to our words and deeds.
All that to say, I'm going to try to not interpret things. In financial planning, if someone doesn't fully explain their financial situation, you have to assume that the customer has no other resources, nothing but what they tell you. You can't guess, intuit, assume, conjure up something other than the plain facts that they disclose. I think I need to do that with people. Not make up their backstories, but simply wait for the truth to be told. I need to invite disclosure, not create a person from a perception. My mind wants to be constantly analyzing and planning for possibilities, but I need to just accept what is and let God deal with the rest. It is a continual struggle for me, but maybe in a decade or two, it will get easier.
Back to studying now, and maybe one of these days I will finish that other blog post. Maybe not. I've got to move on. In more ways than one.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
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